im finally goin to write down my stuff cus i dont know how else to let all out. i know that no one but me can understand wat im goin thru  but im gonna let it out anyway...

i seriously hate being in this house. i hate hearing this crap from my parents about how im a fuckin disgrace to their already screwed up family. my parents must be the most blind people if they cannot understand wats goin on with their own daughter. what hurts the most is that they dont realise HES MUSLIM & hes seriously like the most perfect guy... cant they at least be thankful for that ??? its not like i brought home some fuckin hobo off the streets of fuckin ghetto LA.

 the only reason im still dealing with their shit is because 1.) im still underage and i have no other choice but to live in this house & 2.) i need an education before i can be independent. there is no way i can possibly pay for my education on my own. my motives for being in this house still is purely financial.  money is the only thing theyve ever given me. they never gave me freedom, they never tried to understand what im goin thru, they never attempted to sit and actaully speak with me like parents are supposed to..

everytime i talk to them we always end up arguing over some stupid shit. we will never see eye to eye on any subject. i really wish i had understanding parents, instead i got the exact opposite. i hate them for bringing me into this world when they have no idea about raising kids. they dont realise that if they keep my locked up in this fucking house, the second i get out, im goin to go all out.

honestly, i hope i dont come back from this trip to europe because the thought of returning to the shit i have to deal with in this house is unbearable... but not coming back home is just a wild fantasy... for now, i cant wait till the day i get out of college and get started with my career. i am SO moving FARRRR away from here. inshallah...

juss needed to vent...

Im FINNALLLYYYY updating after like 540 years!!.. yeah well this weekend was hella awesome!!!!..

FRIDAY NIGHT.. that was supposed to be one crazzyyyy night!!- its crazy Ali, we're sooo blessed.. im sooo happy i have the gurls to talk to. I think that was one of the most meaninful conversations we've all ever had. i cant explain in details about that night cus if u werent there, then u have nothin to do with it-lol,  it sounds pretty blunt.. but very tru. anyways i got home at like 1:00 n the mornin, but i told my parents that i wud be home by 9, so when i came home they werent even talkin to me.

SATURDAY.. wow, i woke up at like 5:30 n the mornin cus it was the pancake breakfast thing and we all had to go help out. Maha picked me up n we picked up aliya and went to granada masjid. Yeah, the pancake thing wasnt that awesome cus no one really came. It was almost strictly reseda that ended up coming.

After that me, ali, and eyman went to the shopping center. We went to practically all the stores in that area.. haha OMG THE SHOPPING CARTTTT!!!!! that was soo funny. We took that shopping cart everywhere we went. we took it into every store.. including STARBUCKS.. we looked like the richest hobos. we had a longs drugs shopping cart filled with Forever 21 bags and we were dressed all nice cus we juss came from the breakfast thing. We got soo embarrased at starbucks that we decided to come back to Baskin Robins and tha owner guy gives us a discount on r ice creams and calls us "true muslims" LOL.. discounts like these make me happy imma hijabi haha.. ... yeah well after that we go to Forever 21 and i bought this dress/top thingy, now me, ali, and eyman have it!!.. lol we'll wear it to the next confrence i guess. oh and i got this one coined bracelet- now me n ali have matchin ones.

afterwards laura comes and we go to ralphs to get the cake 4 noors b~day.. LOL.. the "gorgeous mom" thing.. she asked for eymans # lol!.. so we go to pick up noor, praying that the cake doesnt melt on the way cus it was hella hot that day and it was an ice cream cake.

 we went over shians house to get noor ready for pharoahs and so that ali cud teach shian the stuff.. noor looked soo prettty!!! I  U NOOR!!! .. omg me n eyman cud not curl hair for ishhhh.... but noor looked reallllyy pretty!!!.. so afterwards we go to pharoahs and we were all scared cus none of us had been there b4 we didnt kno if they check for ID. thank God that they didnt. so we bought 2 hookahs (4 pipes lol) one was peach and the other was double apple. so yeah i LOVE HOOKKKKKAAAAHHHH!!! its SOOSOOoooOoooOO relaxing!!.. omg i cant believe noor was soo surprised about her lil party thingy!! HAPPYY B~DAYYY NOOOOOOORRRR!!!! ur finally LEGAL!!lol..  and then by the time we were about to leave sum1 ..ahem ahem.. calls n starts annoyin the hell out of all of us and we all cussed that person out. the ride back home was soo funn.. laura was driving like crazy, we had loud ass music, we were acting highhh(umm no wonder lol) and juss cruising down ventura lol..

I get home and my dad starts yelllllinng at me and he NEVER yells and he REALLY means it. he was like where have u been the past few days blah blah blah blah.. i get pissed and dont speak to them for the next few days..  they really dont understand ANYTHING. God, InshAllah, i really want to get accepted into American University of Sharjah and get the hell out of the US. I hate this place, theres nothing here- but i will miss my gurlies.. watever, its not like im not gonna come visit... but yea, im soo moving to Dubai.. inshallah for college and for life. i cant stand living here anylonger. i swear parents... they give u life and then they ruin it too.

anywho i g2g so kiss kiss all my lovlies.. ~mizzy

*new song* --> *tauba tauba* from kaal!...  john abraham AND vivek oberoi!!